Sunday, 28 August 2011

Dear you

(A post via Shopgirl)

Dear you,

It’s been over ten years since you’ve left me but the memories of you are still alive and I deeply miss you. 

It’s been over ten years since I last saw you, since I last heard your voice, since I last saw your smile. 

It’s been over ten years since you’ve left me but I didn’t forget you and I never will; not a day goes by when I don’t think about you. Sometimes the thought of you makes me smile, other times it makes me cry. I often remember all the stories you’ve told me; I also didn’t forget the magic hours we spent watching cartoons. 

It’s been over ten years since you’ve hugged me for the last time. 

It’s been over ten years since we’ve said goodbye.

I’m passing this one over to everyone who would like to write a letter to someone. A letter can be written to whomever and about whatever you want. It must begin with "Dear you" and you can only use pronouns.

Photo taken from here.

Thursday, 25 August 2011

7 questions, 5 links

Hello, I’m back after a long time. I’m studying once again and don’t have much time for writing and reading blog posts but I’m doing my best. 

I’ve been thinking about what to write for quite some time now but I didn’t have inspiration so I’m very grateful to Rebecca (check out her blog here) who gave me a “mission” to answer seven “questions” about my blog. It’s actually 7 links to answer 7 questions which you have blogged about. So here we go:

1)    Yours most beautiful moment &  2) A post that didn't get the attention I thought it deserved is one of my earliest posts and it’s about a person that isn’t with us anymore but he still is “My hero” and always will be.

3)    My most popular blog post was “Lonely boy” which is also one of my favourite posts. It seems that people like sad stories.  

4)    My most controversial blog post is called “Don't make him angry”. It’s a fictional story and it’s about an abusive marriage. 

5)    My most helpful post… that’s a tough one… I really don’t know the answer to this one, I’ll let you decide.

6)    A post whose success surprised me… is not just one post but is a series of fictional posts I wrote about a woman called Emma. You can find all twelve parts of the story on the right side of my blog, look for “My fictional story”. 

A couple of people asked me why I stopped writing this story and honestly I don’t have an answer. I’m thinking about continuing it, what do you think about it?

7)    The post I am most proud of… my first blog post “I'm a virgin”. I didn’t think about creating a blog, I just did it spontaneously. I probably wouldn’t do it if I would actually think it through.

Now I have the honour to tag seven people who (hopefully) will also “answer” to these seven “questions”:
-       Barbara
-       Rita
-       GoofyGirl
-       Doria
-       Maria
-       Bth
-       Louba       

Tuesday, 16 August 2011

A snake

I’m sure I’ve already mentioned that I’m afraid of the snakes, really afraid. It's a phobia.

Yesterday Mr Starlight and I went out for a walk in the nearby park. We were walking on a path through a forest which leads from our street to the park. And then I saw it. A snake. It was a small brown snake but it caused me a serious panic attack.

I started to cry; I couldn’t even yell because I could frighten it and it could end badly. Well, it was probably a harmless snake and it wouldn’t end badly but in that moment my instinct said that it could end badly. 

Mr Starlight didn’t see it and didn’t know why I was crying so I tried to explain that I saw a snake and, of course, he didn’t believe me. He looked back and he didn’t see it so he thought I imagined it. But I knew it was there and I was panicking, crying and hopping.

Yes, I was hopping and the reason for me doing it is quite simple. I knew we can’t go back the same way we came even though it was the shortest way back home; we could see it again and that was the last thing in the world I wanted. We had no choice but to continue walking onward and I couldn’t just walk. I can’t really explain this but I wasn’t able to walk normally. I couldn’t. I wanted to run as fast as I could but that also wasn’t a good option; there could be another snake somewhere on the path and if I was running I couldn’t see it and I could step on it. So I really didn’t have any other option than to hop.

When we came out of the forest on the asphalt I still couldn’t walk quite normally, I was still panicking, unable to breathe normally or to talk like a normal human being. It took me an hour or so to calm down and I spent it trying to convince Mr Starlight that there indeed was a snake but it seems that he still thinks that it was just my imagination.

But it wasn’t.

I really saw it.

Monday, 8 August 2011

They inspire me, every single day - Inspiration Monday guest post

*Special note: Do you remember Jewels from Naughty nothings and Jewels turning 30? She has left Blogger due to personal reasons but she has a new blog up at WordPress: You all are welcome to follow her new blog; just click ADD at the bottom of your blogroll then click “Add from URL” and paste her URL into the screen and then click “follow”.*

I owe you all a big apology… This post should have been published last Monday but I somehow forgot about it. Don’t know how this has happened. Shame on me… I am sorry and will do my best not to do the same mistake again. 

This month’s inspiration is Rebecca who writes a lovely blog Making Memories. She’s a lovely lady who works as a nurse and she LOVES her job.
I feel I shouldn’t stall anymore since this should be up a week ago… I give you Rebecca:

When Starlight asked if I could write a post about what inspires me I jumped at the chance. The only struggle was that lots of things, places and people inspire me every day. But what really inspires me? I had no clue and that's why it has taken me a while to write a post to her. Until now I had just hoped something "would happen" to inspire me.

In my job I work with post-operative patients and on the whole they are generally quite healthy, have easy recoveries and go home. We have unwell patients but with a lot of help, support, medications and advice we get them back to a stable condition. Then we have patients that deteriorate on us out of the blue. Totally unexpected and put us in panic mode. I'll never forget a couple of weeks back we had one of those patients. She had had a major operation, was recovering quite well despite having a palliative cancer. This patient's surgery was performed to prolong her life to gain more quality with her family and to make her more pain free.

All of a sudden she started haemorrhaging. She was bleeding out of her nose, buttock, mouth and blood was pouring into her two drain sites. It may sound gruesome, but that's because it was. She was 'crashing' and we had to save her stat. Her heart was giving out, she was unconscious, she was limp and going blue. She showed no signs this was going to happen as in most cases we get warning signals. She was having her breakfast chatting away one minute and literally a minute later totally unresponsive. We had doctors, nurses and specialists pumping her chest, bagging oxygen, injecting adrenaline, pushing pints and pints of blood through her veins and still nothing. Her blood loss was increasing and the look on the medical team faces said it all. We were losing her and after nearly an hour were slowly giving up. In fact one doctor said "she was palliative anyway" which was making me will her to do anything to stay with us. She could not be gone. I know, as a nurse, that most cardiac arrests are unsuccessful but I just had a feeling she could do it. She did not go through this operation to get more time with her family for nothing. 

She had to survive.

Then exactly 59 minutes after she crashed her blood pressure began to rise, her heart rate was increasing and the bleeding was lessening. I can honestly say I have only ever seen this in medical programmes, not before my own eyes. She was moved to an intensive care ward and when I visited her yesterday (a week on from the emergency) she was sat up having breakfast and chatting away like nothing had happened. 

But it had. She nearly died and medical teams were nearly at the end of their tether. We were nearly going to give up on her but she hadn't given up on herself just yet.

You see this is what inspires me, not stories like this. But people like her. People who bring themselves back from the brink and defy the odds. People who refuse for people to give up on them. Who fight. Who will themselves on to prove to others that they can make it despite what is thrown in their faces. 

People who sing to an audience for the first even though they're really scared. People who come out as a different orientation despite the backlash. People who fight for their country because they're selfless. People who bring themselves back from the brink of death because they want to see their family one more time.

They inspire me, every single day. 

Friday, 5 August 2011

The hotel

I’m standing at a bus stop, waiting for my bus to arrive and watching the people around me, as usual, trying to guess what their story is. A big black Bentley stops in front of the fancy hotel near the bus stop and catches my attention. The driver who jumps out of the car and hurries to open the back door is a typical driver you can see in movies; he is wearing a black suit, a white shirt with a black tie and a black hat. He opens the back door and an older man comes out of the car, followed by an older lady, probably his wife. The man is wearing brown linen pants and a pink polo shirt, an unusual combination for a man of his age but it suits him well. I assume it was his daughter or his wife who bought a pink shirt for him, I can’t imagine him buying one himself. The lady is dressed in a beige summer dress with big red flowers printed on the fabric. They smile at each other as they’re walking to the hotel and disappear in the dimmed light of the lobby. 

Two business men are standing in front of the hotel, both carrying briefcases. It seems they’re discussing something very important, judging from the expressions on their faces. One of them is constantly checking out his pocket watch, they’re probably waiting for someone. Or maybe he’s in a hurry and can’t get rid of the other guy. 

I hear a bus approaching the stop and I check the number above the windscreen; it’s not the one I’m waiting for. I look back and see the nervous business man is leaving; he’s making a call, probably notifying someone how the meeting went. The other one is going back to the hotel; I could think of a million reasons why but I don’t because someone else much more interesting catches my attention.

A tall blonde woman, about 25 years old is walking toward the hotel’s entrance. She’s dressed quite inappropriately for this hour. Her black dress is too tight and a bit too short; her pink high heels are way too shiny and her huge pink handbag doesn’t fit the outfit at all. I’m wondering what she's got in there, more appropriate clothes, maybe? I’m sure her intention was to look classy but she’s far from that. She’s walking uneasily and constantly looking behind her shoulder. I’m wondering why she’s going to the hotel. The first reason I think of is some kind of kinky business. She does look like a call girl, to be honest. As she’s just about the enter to the hotel she stops and looks around her as if she would be checking if someone saw her going in. I looked around and no one was paying attention to her. Except for me, of course.